It has been four months now. 16 weeks since I had a routine, a schedule or a job. The productive eight hours between leaving home and getting back is filled with vacuum, meaningless trials to engage your own mind, to set a rhythm, to have a life. It’s funny because when you were pushing extra hours at work staring at your PC, drafting report after report only for your boss to unleash his fury, all you think of is dropping it all and cruising to an endless holiday somewhere far from all the bureaucrats, far from the politics.
When working you count minutes to the weekend when all of it will make sense. Work has become a means to an end. We work (a.k.a live through) seven days a week for two days of fun. We wait for the weekend to drink or club or date or socialize anything that will wash off the previous forty hours of our life. The fights in the office, the never ending meetings, the gossip, the ruthless competition, the sucking up are all things we think we do to pay the bill. Suddenly the long hours you put in college thinking you will be somewhere different to where you are, add to the confusing reality equations that you struggle to solve.
We have our life (the reality) and our wish (what we hope for). Sometimes it is a struggle to have your wish realized; sometimes reality is nothing like your dreams. The fact remains that our lives are constantly lived in between our dreams and the reality. No matter what we have we always wish for more, maybe that is how we better ourselves or maybe it is just plain old greed. If we sit and do the simple exercise of recalling what we have wished for (or wished to be) and then compare it to what we have (are) everyone will have their discrepancy. That is normal…..
What is abnormal and an increasing trend:
To not know what one wants and make a wish only to get it and realize it is not what one wants
or
To know what one wants, wish for it; be ungrateful when one has it and then regret once it is gone.
The purpose of this entry however is not to decide which one is worse or better, (that I leave to the reader). It is to simply introspect and see where we are, what we have and who we have become. To understand and make peace with what we can’t be or what we can’t have and to be grateful for who we are and what we have. So next time before you make that wish….be certain because your wish may be just what you have.
